Impermissible
by WILNEYDI-CULLEN
Summary: B&J. All Human. Though they are going through many struggles they find happiness in eachother. But what happens when them being together isn't an option and how far will they fight? Full summary inside. Please Read and Review, do it for Jacob :D SMeyers Owns.
1. Chapter 1

Bella's move to Dim-light Valley was tragic, abused in her childhood, it is hard for her to trust or open up to anyone. Passed around in foster care, she is now fifteen and she is at her new temporary home. When she meets Jacob Black, can she afford to trust him or will she be ripped away by DSS? She is so used to having to leave what she loves; in turn she doesn't want to give him a chance because in the end they will come out hurt.

Jacob Black has lived in Dim-light Valley for sixteen years, which means his whole life, with wealthy parents. People would say he has the perfect life and they don't understand why he is the rebel in the family. People don't understand his constant struggle between what he wants and what is expected of him. When he is forced to live with the ancient Indian culture, life becomes unclear to him. Now that he is growing, he must face things like forced marriage. Jacob never cared about that rule that was always forced upon him, until he found Bella.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Prologue**_

_I knew what I had to do. This time something inside of me stopped being scared and as I drew closer to him I felt happy. As he smiled brilliantly towards me he didn't know the battle I had just fought within. His teeth shone a perfect white and made a beautiful contrast with his caramel skin. He wrapped his arms around my waist and his posture changed from tense to relaxed. We both drew energy from each other and during this time that energy was highly needed. _

_ Something inside of me told me to walk away from this. This was dangerous and I would get hurt. I knew he was better than me no matter how many times he denied it. I was hurting him each second I let this relationship go on. I was indeed a hazard to those around me and that was a burden I had carried all my life. But even with all of these facts he knew about me, he loved me. Each second we were together he whispered it into my ear and I could do nothing, but melt at the words. As a human I could do nothing, but be essentially selfish and so I held on tighter to him. He was my oxygen tank and without him my breathing would become shallow and my world would darken. It was too late to turn around now even if we were both headed toward the end of the tunnel. Hand in hand we blindly made our way through the tunnel we had dug out throughout our lives, now it was finally time to see what was on the other side. _

_CHAPTER 1 _

_**BELLA's POV:**_

Unpacking the last box, I looked around my new room, my new life. Starting over became like a ritual. I had been over it so many times that it meant nothing to me; it only brought back sad memories. I tried to swallow the big lump in my throat as I did what I always did, I tried to forget.

Five was the year, the year when everything changed. Ten years ago the man I called father came home in a drunken rage. I didn't comprehend what he was doing until he grabbed a gun and shot my mother. He then turned furiously toward me, which was when I felt his fist connect to my face. Leaving that dark, purple, swollen bruise, the bruise I can never forget. As I felt my face and could remember the texture of the bruise as if it was still there, but I knew it was gone. From then on I could never look in the mirror without picturing everything.

The pain was so real slicing my heart like a sharp knife, feeling the hot fury of fire on my face was normal about this time. I jumped from foster home to foster home and no one ever seemed to see the pain in my eyes. I was always there, but never seen. Everyone ignored my screams at night and I always wished my mom was there to soothe my pain and loneliness. Every night was a battle, a battle to stop the sweat from venting out of my pores. The homes were nice but fake, never my home, never mine to go to for shelter.

As hot tears rimmed my eyes, I put the last shirt of the ten that I have, in the bureau. I knew I couldn't think about the pain, I had to be strong because soon I would have to face the people who had taken me in. I tried to smile for them and they seemed to take in my lies, but sometimes I wished they would care. I sighed and stalked out of my room with my shoulders slumped, I was not in the mood to talk, but like always my feelings were meant to be thrown aside. I was now living in a home with two boys and one girl. There is one guy about my age, but he is too busy eyeing what jewelry this house has to pay attention to anyone else. The others ones are kids and people who are too young to understand, but something I would never say out loud is that I envy their innocence.

_**JACOB'S POV:**_

__Gazing out the window, I wished I could just fly over the mountains, away from this place I call home. Everyone seems to think I have the perfect life, but if that was true, why do I thirst for something else? I sigh as I look around me and find everything the same, things in my life never change, they aren't allowed to. Jumping when my phone went off I looked at the caller id, recognizing the name right away. Great, how many times is she going to call today?

"Hello?" sighing I answered

"Hey, I am so glad I got a hold of you. You want to go to the movies?" Jessica Stanley asked anxiously.

"Uh, no, not today"

"Oh, ok" she said half heartedly.

"Well I have to go, bye Jess" hanging up the phone I thought of the five month relationship we had. It was sweet while it lasted, but just like everyone else she never fully understood me.

I heard my dad yell for me to get ready for my summer job and though internally I wanted to pout like a five year old, I did what he said. I was now working at a gas station that was close to a beach, which meant it was always filled with people. Any guy would love working there since there are always girls in bathing suits, but like my life, everything is always the same. There is never a new face that captures my interest. I put on my usual work clothes and run down stairs. Everything is always the same; this is how it goes and has always gone.

"Hurry up Jake; you don't want to be late". My mom says not looking up from her book.

"Don't worry mom, the employee of the month never disappoints", I say.

"You better not! If I hear you are late, don't expect to see sympathy on our faces". My dad shouted and made his way to his firm, yes he was a lawyer. We always said the same thing and it never changed, I could be bloody and hurt and still have to go to work. My duties must always come first, I heard it so much and it was all a load of crap.

My sister Jayla never got half of what I got because she was known as the perfect child. She could do what she wanted and all my parents did was pay attention to me and wait until I messed up so they could call me out for it. I walked out of the house in a fast paste so I wouldn't hear about what good deed Jayla had done.

When the bell rang, signaling an open door, I looked up from the front counter. Glimpsing I saw a pale, curly haired brunette approach the cash register.

"Pump six, please", she spoke so softly, I could barely comprehend what she had spoken.

"Excuse me?"

"Pump six" she said more clearly

"Oh, yea, your total is thirty dollars and ninety-seven cents, please."

"Crap, I only have twenty eight" she scrunched up her face

Nervously, before I could stop it, I puked out "I can pay the last bit".

"Okay, um...thank you". She said awkwardly and walked away with a confused expression. For some reason something inside me screamed to not let her leave and on an impulse I jumped over the counter and ran over to her. The one thing I forgot to do was calculate where I was going and almost fell over her.

"Hey"! I shouted at her making her cringe, "Um... what's your name?" I said more softly.

"Who wants to know?" she said defensively, her green gold speckled eyes shadowing over.

"I do, I mean I want to know" I could sense her body tense.

"Why"? This concept seemed to make her incredulous and it caused her facial expression to go from confused to amused.

She hesitated for a minute "Bella" she had finally given in.

"Jake", I said while stretching my hand towards her small, milky ones.

"Jake, it was a pleasure but my par...my guardians expect me to be home." She laughed at something and I guessed it was an inside joke. She turned away, just like that. He frame seemed to shrink as she was getting into the old '91 rusted rusty Red Chevy and I was fighting an internal struggle to assist her.

The day seemed to pass in a blur and I didn't understand why Bella never left my mind. I found myself comparing her to every girl who walked in, just for fun. I shook my head and passed it off as lack of sleep.

**BELLA's**_** POV:**_

Something about Jake, the sun-kissed skin, coffee-colored eyes, straight jet black haired boy, I just couldn't shake. The way he had jumped over the counter and asked for my name, unnerved me. I felt like he could see right through my lies, through my defense. If I was being truthful, I would have to say that it scared me. I wasn't sure what it was, but all I knew was that if this boy had so much power over me by first sight, I should try to stay away. Looking at my hands, I noticed I was shaking, that my head was spinning, that I had to close my drooping eyes and surrender to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bella's POV:**

The sun dawned on me through the dusty blinds, arousing me from a fitful sleep. Sitting up straight, I notice the sheets and my blue suede pajamas were drenched in hot, sticky sweat. Lying back down, I tried to push my nightly nightmare away but it resisted and strained to stay in my head. They came in like pictures, some blurry and some too clear.

I was running down the dark dirty alley and with every ounce of my power I knew I couldn't stop. Though my knees grew weak and my breath was shorting, I knew what would happen when I stopped. As if to prove my point I saw him coming towards me. His face was covered with darkness and in the shadows he stayed. No one was around, I was alone and all I could do was run. Towards where, I never knew, but all I was sure of is that whatever happened, I would never be safe.

Stepping on the cold, wooden floor, I scampered over to the mirror looking for the old bent out of shape brush. Trying to tame the riotousness of my curls was a daily task that seems to drain me every morning. I looked in the mirror to see my work and I couldn't help the sting that hit me. I knew I wasn't anything special; I was a petite girl with nothing admirable. I sighed and sat on my bed with a craving for something, I never knew what it was. Reaching under the mattress, I pulled out the journal that I had received from the seventh foster parents when I was nine. Opening the rippled and pressed pages I flipped through pieces of my screwed life. As I reached a fresh but worn page, I felt for the nearby pen.

Writing was a temporarily pain reducer, the one thing I had been able to hold on to out of all the families, all the towns, all the people, and all the moves. No one understood my writing, and they didn't know the pain I sent out through them. For a strange reason my mind wondered back to Jacob. Would he accept me the way I am, damaged and lost? I knew the answer would be no and that he would walk away quickly as soon as he knew the real me.

"Bella"! I heard my foster mom call me down stairs. She started to believe I was anorexic, but she didn't know I ate when all of them left. It was an easy choice, do I rather eat with them and pretend to be what they want or eat by myself and actually be who I want to be?

"Bella you have five seconds"! She screeched losing her act as a calm and nurturing mom, not that I ever believed her facade. I love how they thought they knew us, that they could fix our broken and damned souls with a smile and soft feeling-less hug.

"Good morning"! I said happily and they smiled not knowing I was mocking them. The two small kids were watching Dora the annoying Explorer, while the guy my age was sitting staring at me like he finally realized I was here.

"Hey there, Bella" he dragged my name out like there was something that sparked his interest.

"What's your name again?" I questioned with a social smirk, trying to pledge innocence.

Confused he rolled his eyes, "James" he sharply whispered.

"Oh, yea, I read about you in the paper, for...um...stealing that diamond necklace from that poor innocent elderly lady." I smile amused at his shocked face.

"So I am interesting enough for you to actually care". He seemed to take what I said a different way, I wanted to gag, but pulled myself together.

"Well you are my new brother". I wondered if he took hints or if he was one of those guys that just didn't take no for an answer.

"Oh but I could be your brother with benefits" he tried the juvenile eye brow raise and failed miserably. I stifled a laugh and reached for the cheerios, these parents were health freaks. Pouring my milk I suddenly I felt someone behind me. When I turned around James was towering over me, too close for comfort.

"Do you need the milk"? I tried to sound normal, but the annoyance invaded my voice causing him to laugh darkly. His laugh was bone chilling and it raised goose bumps on my arms.

"You never answered my proposal". He smiled and winked at me, trying to be smooth.

"Do you have something in your eye, I'm sure the lady who lives here has eye drops, but I'm sure you'll prefer her diamonds" I raised my eyebrow, "And about your proposal, no". I stated simply and walked away with my cereal.

As I was leaving I could feel his eyes staring my down intently. Trying to calm my nerves, I remembered that this was temporary. One day either I would be sent to another home or he would steal something, whichever came first. But for now I had to deal, he wanted a game, I was game.

**Jacob'S POV:**

Stomping up the steps, I slammed my door as an annoyed gesture towards my parents. I looked around frantically for a pencil and paper. I couldn't get Bella out of my head, and now I had the chance. I knew that when this inspiration was taking over there was only one thing I could do, let it free. I began to draw whatever came to mind and that happened to be Bella.

I hadn't had this much inspiration in years. I let my hand take over and I felt light headed with excitement of this new found love being sparked. I didn't understand why Bella had to spark it, all I knew is that once it started there was no way for me to stop it, not that I wanted to. I remembered how my dad was against it, which pumped me with adrenaline.

I went through the sketch, the rounded chin, the blushing cheeks, the green eyes, the full red lips, and the curly brunette hair. She was imprinted in my mind, and I had no clue why. The unsuspected knock at my door made me flinch. I became angry towards the person who stopped me in the middle of my epiphany. I grunted and quickly hid my work under my bed; I knew my parents would not like what I was doing. I think they rather me sneak a girl into my house, rather than to draw. I opened my door and when I saw who it was I felt like shutting it again.

"Hey, are you busy?" Jessica took a quick glance around and saw that there was nothing amiss, "Great, So you want to hang out?" she said too spastic.

"Umm Jess, what are you doing here?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I am here to ask you if you want to hang out. I thought that was kind of obvious". Her laugh turned into a bark and I tried my hardest not to flinch from the noise. I wonder if anyone ever told her that she sounded like a dying hyena.

"What exactly do want to do"? I bit the inside of my cheek wondering if I should or should not. Slowly I was deciding to go because I knew my parents would want me to go.

"I want to go down to the lake", she pushed her fingers through my hair, "you know like we used to. Have lunch on the bank and go out sailing, maybe a little swim?" Then she caressed my cheek.

I grabbed her hand off my face, for some reason I couldn't stand her touch anymore, it gave me chills I couldn't explain.

"Why the sudden change Jess"? I asked sounding disgusted.

"I'm not going to lie to you Jacob; I miss hanging out with you. We can just be friends...for now". She tried to smile the way I loved, but it didn't affect me like it use to.

"I'll go, but we are just friends, word being friends". I sighed, but nothing could crush her sudden good mood. "Let me change". I rushed her out of my room and dressed.

The sky was blue, the breeze was perfect, and still I felt out of place. Jess tried her best to lighten the mood, either she ignored the intensity or was completely oblivious. Lunch was painful, and the sailing was like dying ten times over, all I could think about was seeing her again. Reaching the shore, I tied the boat to the dock. As I ran up to grab my shoes and made a pivoting motion to go back, I bumped right into her.

"Hi". I was shocked, but not at just seeing her, but at the way I felt my mood lighten.

"Hello". She mumbled not looking up at me, which only made me stare intently at her trying to figure out what she was thinking. Suddenly I felt arms wrap around my waist and looked over my shoulder to find Jessica glaring at Bella.

"Baby, who is this?" she said sweetly.

Shrugging Jessica off my body I answered sternly, "Jessica, this is Bella, a new friend." I looked at Bella, "Bella this is Jessica, an old friend."

"Nice to meet you Annieball, is it?" giving a social smile.

Slightly raising her eyes Bella swiftly walked around us mumbling "Bella, its Bella! Why is that so hard?"

I quickly started after her, "Do you want to grab a drink?"

"No it's okay". She mumbled quietly and started to walk away, but I jogged towards her too persistent to take no for an answer. I had thought about her since I saw her and I wasn't about to let her go.

"Please, I'll pay". I tried to use puppy dog eyes hoping I didn't look like a freak. I even pouted to add to the affect, but when she started giggling I wondered if I was making a fool of myself.

"Sure". She sighed, but when she looked behind me and saw Jess, her face changed, "You know what? I completely forgot I have a lot of things to do for my...I have to go". She waved without looking back and almost ran away.

"Jess, what was that? Huh? That baby crap you pulled?" I practically yelled I was so pissed.

"Whatever are you talking about?" she asked innocently

"You know what find another way home. I tried to be friends, I tried." I started in the direction Bella had gone to hoping I could catch up with her.

"Bella! Bella! Do you need a ride?" I asked breathlessly

"Look, I see you are busy." She said flatly.

"Jessica, she just, hasn't moved on, and we aren't involved anymore" I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what to say.

"Does your offer still stand?" She asked with a smirk

"Yeah, yeah it does." I smiled a real smile and it felt good. I felt Bella relax "C'mon, I know this great place."

We walked along the lake and I tried my hardest not to reach over and grab her hand. She kept hiding her face with her hair which only intrigued me more. I could see the smile on her lips and when she noticed I was looking she blushed scarlet. Just by looking at her I felt a weight was lifted off my chest and I could freely laugh.

"So will your parents be mad if you don't complete the errands they sent you on"? I asked.

"What errands"? She asked puzzled and realization came over her face causing her blush to deepen. "Oh well I just remembered that I can finish later because something I need is in a store that doesn't open yet". Her rambling made me laugh and I would have believed her if it wasn't for the way she wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Sorry about Jessica, she's over protective when it comes to a friend". Oh how I wished that was the case, but Bella didn't have to know.

"Someone must have broken your heart for her to act like that". She whispered and I could tell she meant it to be for her ears only, but that wasn't the reality.

"Eh...something like that". I dropped the subject not wanting to remember how Jessica hurt me when she broke up with me because I wasn't what she wanted, in her words, I was bringing her down.

"Look it's a butterfly!"For the first time I saw Bella's eyes light up, she was beautiful. "My mother and I used to, well it's not important" Her smile disappeared and for a split second I saw a shadow cross over her eyes. Her face became stone like and guarded.

"So, where are you from?" trying to make light conversation seemed so hard.

"Everywhere" she said softly. She was lost for now, for how long I had no clue. She was a puzzle that I was dying to put together.


	4. Chapter 4

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**Bella's POV**

After Jacob drove away, I walked five houses down to the old, dingy, once was white but now it is a green house. There was one light on in the front of the house. As I entered I could see all the kids huddled in a corner silently playing with their toys as if they were on probation. James was lying on the couch in front of the TV watching MTV 'The Real Life'. I tried to stifle my steps as I walked across the hallway and up the stairs, but sadly James heard me before I could make it to my safety zone. As I put my hand on the door knob to my room, I felt warm hands compress against my waist. I gasped sharply.

"What are you doing? Get your hands off me!" I pivoted fast and punched him in the face. "Keep your nasty hands off me!" I shouted feeling the echo of my voice as it bounced off the walls. He didn't seem to get it and just stood there for a few seconds staring deeply into my eyes. I couldn't flinch; it was like he was asking me for a match and I couldn't back down. He reached around me, pushing the handle down. We fell through door, crashing on the floor.

He was on top of me. Crushing me chest, my breathing became heavy. I struggled but he was much stronger, keeping me pinned between him and the wooden floor. He started to reach for the button on my jeans. "No, get off" I screamed as loud as I thought I could. His hot breath was hitting my face; sweat began beading from my forehead. Tears came to my eyes as I became tired of fighting the giant.

His fingers scratched their way into my pants trying to get into my underwear. I started kicking, trying to roll him off. His fingers hurt as they poked and probed. Sobbing I couldn't catch my breath. "Please, stop, just stop." His fist impacted my face, bringing memories to the surface. From the corner of my eye I saw the little girl in the hallway. Her face became blank as she stared at the monster on top of me. "James, please she's watching, please. She is so innocent."

He rolled off of me, as he did air returned to my lungs. I felt dizzy; I rolled over and silently sobbed. I listened for the footsteps to become distant and for the door to close, for the room to become dark.

**Jacob's POV:**

Sitting at the lake I waited for the cool breeze. I got up to return to the truck, as I did I tripped over someone and fell to the ground. Getting up I realized it was Bella. Helping her up I questioned "are you alright?" Pulling her hair over the left side of her face she gave a slight nod. "Ok, so have you had lunch?"

"I am not hungry, please just let me go"

When the breeze blew, some off her hair moved. Catching a glimpse of purple, I grabbed her face with one of my hands and with my other one gently pushed her hair behind her ear. Shocked at what I saw before me I asked cautiously "What happened to you?"

Her eyes shadowed over "I fell"

"No, seriously, a fall wouldn't do that." I interrogated even farther.

A moment later a random guy came up and put his hand around her waist. She shrugged both him and I off, only making eye contact with the ground.

"I'm James, nice to meet you...?" he gave a confused look.

"Jacob... the names Jacob" I filled in.

"Ahh... okay." James said.

"So how do you know Bells?" I asked as jealousy rose up my throat.

"We are friends, but a little bit deeper, you know what I'm saying. Chic's these days just don't understand when the right dude is right in front of them. Ann and I practically were made for each other" he said while putting his arm around her and winking as he finished up.

I looked at her for an answer but she was still content with the ground. "Yeah chic's." Disgusted I walked away. What was I thinking? Thinking that this might work? She should have said something about being taken!

"Wait Jacob, don't go!" she whimpered. She pulled herself from his retched grip and ran towards me. "Don't go, please don't go." Her pleading was unbearable.

"Ann, get back over here!" James said demandingly.

She turned around and hissed "Go to hell, James."

James rebuttal was walking away with a grim feature on his face.

"Bells, will you please tell me what happened to you"? I begged.

She hesitated, and then sat down. She stared over the lake for awhile. Then she finally spoke, when she did it gave me chills. "When I got home yesterday I went upstairs. I was almost in my room when James came up behind me. He put his hands on me; I turned around and hit him. This only pissed him off. He opened up the door to my room and we crashed to the floor." She took a long break. When she spoke again she took in a deep breath. "He pinned me down, I felt like he was crushing me. His fingers hurt as he forced them down my pants..." She stopped and I gave her time.

I put my hand on her knee as a touch of reassurance. She flinched, but I held steady. I needed her to know I would never hurt her. "Bella, did he hit you?" I ventured but really not wanting to know the answer for fear I was right.

She took in another sharp breath and nodded. I could feel the color drain from my face as un-wanted images of Bells getting hurt flooded into my head. I tried to steady myself as everything became a little blurry and I knew that one thing on my to-do list was: get James back. I pulled her into my arms. She didn't cry, didn't scream, didn't move but just sat there. We sat in silence for awhile. I wanted to hold on to this moment, wanted to hold on to her. For the first time she held on too, as if her life depended on it. I waited for her to pull away and leave like usual, but we stayed locked in each other's arms until what felt like hours.

SSSSSS

I felt her go limp and her breathing more even. Slightly moving I picked her up and moved her to my truck. There was no way I could take her back to her house and I wondered if she would get mad if she woke up at my house. In the end I decided that I didn't care if she got mad because I truly did care about her and this was the only way I could protect her.

Getting home I laid her down in my bed and covered her up. As I changed I couldn't stop looking at her, so precious and innocent although I knew there was more beneath the eyes. I crawled into bed and laid beside her.

All I could do was stare at her trying to capture every inch of her beauty and my heart thumped to the beat of her breathing. I began to fall asleep when I felt movement and quickly open my eyes. Bella was moving though she wasn't awake, she nestled her head on my chest and held on like it was something she always did. I couldn't stop the fuzzy feeling that overcame me and I wondered if this was all a dream. In some ways I wished it was because I would never wish harm upon her, no matter the outcome. But holding her in my arms is something that I would never want to take back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella's POV:**

When I woke up I was stroking something soft and fuzzy. My cheek was pressed against hot flesh. Strong arms held me. Our legs fit together perfectly. He was so beautiful when he slept. I watched him for a minute then closed my eyes. I didn't want to wake up; I wanted to stay like this forever. I realized how nice and safe it felt to be in his arms. I opened my eyes again and this time his brown eyes were on my. I pulled away in a frightened gasp. "What am I doing?" I acted scarred and frighten although that couldn't be farther from the truth. As soon as I was away from him I felt stupid and just wanted to get back to where I was.

"It's okay you're safe Bells". Those words confused me a little because throughout my years I had forgotten what safe was.

"Why am I here"? My voice was raspy and I felt a blush cross my cheeks.

"You fell asleep and I couldn't just take you to your house, not with that guy..." He trailed off, his face was red with anger and it made me feel...protected...safe. What's wrong with me?

"Oh..." I said at the realization that my home wasn't my home; he didn't know that I had lied. This made me blush scarlet.

"Are you ok?" he said while lightly fingering my bruise. "I have some stuff in a first aid kit to help you with that."

Even though my bruise felt hot and like it was being stabbed over and over again I just said "I'll be fine"

"I'm sure you are..." He eyed me, "But the medicine will make you better, so hold on". He got up and ran to his bathroom. I could hear him throwing stuff around and I knew I shouldn't have felt so comfortable lying on some stranger's bed.

"Here, close your eyes" he gently swabbed some Neosporin on to the now black and purple, swollen bruise.

I winced in pain as he accidently pressed to hard. When he saw my reaction he soften his strokes and stared at my eyes once in a while which made me feel a little self conscious. I stared back at him hoping he would look away, but he was lost in something too deep to be taken out.

After awhile, when I thought he had stroked a pound of medicine on my face, I grabbed his hand "I think I'll be fine." I shook my head to remove his other hand. When I did hair fell on my face and into the ointment.

He softly swiped the trusses away and tucked them neatly behind my ear. "Why do you always do that? I mean why do you always tuck my hair?"

He stopped for a moment, I guess to calculate his answer. "Because it looks like the hair bothers you."

"I better get going I am sure they are worried about me." I made a move towards the door but he firmly grabbed my arm, making me fall back to the bed. "What?" I questioned curiously. After asking this I silently chastised myself. Stop it, stop leading yourself on. He is just being nice you know that he doesn't like you like you want him to. Stop wishing.

"How are you related to James?"

"What?" I was confused; I wasn't related to him at all.

"You said he was at your house, why?" he took a pause and like something had hit him he breathed out "is he your brother?"

"No" I practically yelled, and then spoke in a calmer tone "I am not related to him"

"Then how does he know you? Surely your parents wouldn't let him hang out with you?"

"Parents" I almost laughed at this because I didn't have parents to say weather or not they liked James.

"What? Bells this is serious." He grabbed my wrist.

"Please let me go Jacob. Don't do this." I pleaded. I didn't want to tell him that I was an orphan growing up in the screwed up social services.

"I know you don't understand why I care about you, but I do. So can you just please explain why James is at your house, that's all I'm asking for".

"It's not my house." I said flatly

"I don't understand. Then why are you staying there?" he eyed me and I felt I would penetrate under his gaze.

"Because that's where the social service said I had to stay". I said it as if it was of minor importance when in reality all I wanted to do was run away. But why couldn't I?

"Social services?" he slowly let his gaze fall off of me.

"Don't worry about it ok? Just don't acknowledge anything I just said." I started to leave again but his grip became tighter.

"You aren't leaving this time. Why do you always want me to just ignore whatever you're feeling? I can tell you now, I can't do that".

"Ok you want to know the truth?" I asked disgustedly

"That would be nice for a change" he said sarcastically.

"When I was five my dad screwed up his life. They came and took me away. I have been in foster homes ever since." I didn't give the whys just the basics.

"Why did they take you away? Didn't you have a mother to keep you?"

"Did, but what does it matter?" I was already sick to stomach of this conversation, but he wouldn't quit interrogating me. He just kept digging deeper into my soul.

"It matters to me. I want to know everything" he said concerned.

"You think you can protect me once or twice and then just expect me to tell you my life story? I don't think so." I tried to sound mad but in reality I just wanted to break down, to cry it out. I expected him to get mad and just let me go, actually I counted on it but he didn't. All he did was hold me closer to him and tears prickled down my face.

I let the sadness of it all take me and I began to sob loudly. I lifted my eyes to his gaze; taking everything about him in. He was perfect, with his disheveled dark hair, and with his tanned muscled, chest exposed. "Ok. My father murdered my mother. He hit me and then took his own life." I started crying even harder. I was sobbing so hard I couldn't breathe.

He pulled me into his grasp and held me as my shoulders shook with grief. He put a few fingers under my chin and lifted my face up to his own. I couldn't stop myself from looking at his lips and without noticing we were both closer until our lips lightly touched. I could feel all the sadness pouring out and only pure happiness taking its place. Soon the soft kiss turned into a hungry passionate one, like we were both trying to find answers in each other. I slightly opened my mouth letting him in, letting him take me over. His tongue slipped into my mouth, making him a part of me. Our lips smashed against our flesh. His large hands rubbed up and down my arms in a caressing way. My hands found his thick hair. I raked them through it, giving me something tangible to tell me this was real. His hands went to the small of my back, I let mine drop as he took over my movements.

He pulled away, "Bells, don't ever let me go" he pleaded. I was hit with what had happened and realized I had let him in, fully and completely. I was falling, hard and fast into a place where I knew there would be no return. It was either everything or nothing at all. Though I didn't know the outcome of what I was about to say, my mind was made up.

"I won't, I won't ever let you go Jacob". And just like I said, I held on to him and felt like it was the first time in years that I could actually breathe.


End file.
